


dragging regrets and guilt through the war zone

by Blepbean



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, M/M, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Parting Ways Ending, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21739852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blepbean/pseuds/Blepbean
Summary: The wolf brothers are separated, Sean can never go back to America. With Finn on borrowed time in Mexico, Sean feels regret and guilt suffocating his lungs and wanting to turn back time.
Relationships: Sean Diaz/Finn
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	dragging regrets and guilt through the war zone

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wanted to write this after seeing all of the endings to that's fun, it was so sad. the game was kinda boring but the endings was like a woah to my face i love this game so much now, each ending has a consequences and they never win. 
> 
> some songs to listen to when reading:  
> [spanish sahara by foals](https://youtu.be/S6J3EgTSy0o)  
> [should have known better by sufjan stevens](https://youtu.be/lJJT00wqlOo)  
> [i love you by billie eillish](https://youtu.be/WiinVuzh4DA)  
> [milk and bone by natalie](https://youtu.be/wibDSxTck4g)
> 
> so yeah this whole fic is to cope with my lis 2 post sadness

Sean tried to take as many pictures as he can, even if they’re silly like the little penguin poster he found on the ground or horrible like the blurred picture of him and finn’s feet intertwined. Even the most dangerous ones like the picture of the dangerous neighbour he has to go through everyday to get back to his apartment, he got jumped by a couple of the Boss’s gang members, his little minions to do his bidding. They left a scar on his arm, one that lol forever be burned into his skin.

He takes so many photos to try and not forget, he can never  _ forget _ , not now or in a year or when he’s cornered by a couple of gangs members and he’s breathing his last breaths and saying his last words. He can’t forget, Daniel told him that taking pictures is the easiest way to never forget. It’s like the promise they made about the world brothers, one that starts so sweet and innocent through a misunderstanding that ending in blood, sweat and tears filled with regrets na guilt.

_ Maybe if he didn’t led them through the gate _

_ Maybe if he didn’t let Daniel through the door _

__ **_But that’ll mean that Daniel will grow horrid_ **

_ Maybe if they surrendered _

_ Maybe if they just stayed and never ran in the first place _

So many regrets, so little time. He can’t go back, can’t grab the strings of time and go back to where they started. Stop the tale of the wolf brothers before it even begins. The wolf brothers are torn apart, split and is now slowly bleeding and feeling the regrets and guilt.

Sean needs to breathe, calm down. He can’t let Finn see him breaking down like this, they promised to have a fun time at the beach, take many pictures and maybe sneak in make out sessions that’ll end in giggles even though Sean is already 32.

_ 32 _

__ **_How old is Daniel now?_ **

Way too much time has past.

“Hey sweetheart,” Finn mumbles, he presses a kiss on Sean’s forehead, “still not getting used to this shitty apartment.” He pulls up a plastic chair from the corner of the room and sits next to Sean, looking out of the window and staring out of the piercing blue sky, “it’s a beautiful day outside isn’t it I—“

He sees Sean slip a single tear from the corner of his eye.

“Hey sweetheart you okay?” 

Sean doesn’t answer, only biting his fingernail and mindlessly staring out the blue sky. He can’t speak, he’s frozen, brittle. If he says something wrong then he’ll break apart, spill ugly in front of Finn. It’s all because of thinking, too much thinking that spiralled down into this. Daniel always says that he thinks too much, going into silly little arguments about his powers which ends to them forgetting everything and going recklessly and the way that he looks at him and—

_ Fuck _

“Hey.”

He snaps back to reality, blinking away the tears and looking at Finn. He smiles at him, a sweet and simple ones.

“Hey,” Sean answers back.

“We don’t have to go we can go tomorrow.”

“No it’s fine,” he sniffles, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine, you don’t look fine.”

Silence.

Sean looks at the camera on his hands, an instant one which develops polaroids. He plans to take pictures for Daniel, mail back to him so he’ll be relieved. He only wants to see the good bits, the one with sunlight but not the ones that’s filled with blood. It’ll be too much for him.

“I’ll be fine,” Sean mumbles, breathing deeply, trying to stomach everything back in, “I’ll be fine,” he repeats again as a mantra. He hears the sound of the legs of the plastic chair scraping against the cold, hard cement floor. He feels hands around him, a hug from behind. The moment is so peaceful, so sweet and gentle amidst the chaos. Sean smiles, just a little bit. Then he gets out the instant camera and takes a picture, the flash blinding them.

Sean doesn’t really feel like going to the beach, too much of a hassle and too many people to avoid. Him and Finn could just lay in bend all day, laying there with messy kisses and hugs and hickeys down his neck. It’ll be so much more peaceful, where they can just lay on the bed and watch time go past them.

But he’s doing this for Daniel, so he  _ knows  _ that he’s still alive.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Once upon a time, in a wild, wild world. _

_ There were to wolf brothers living in their home lair with their papa wolf. _

_ They lived in peace until the hunters took their dad away. _

_ The wolf brothers wandered for days and nights. _

**_That’s where it all went wrong_ **

****

**** **_They never should’ve left_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  


The sound of the camera going off fills the air.

It buzzes, then the camera whirrs the photo out which Sean puts into his pocket. It’s a simple photo. The pretty blue sky with the palm trees and the gorgeous golden sand being taken over by the overlapping coming tide. All he’s worried about is the sun messing up the photo, but it’s one that he’ll absolutely send to Daniel.

“Hey sweetheart.”

“Hey.” 

Finn sits next to him, sighing as he lays down on the scorching sun, “that’s a good burn.”

“You’re going to get a sunburn.”

“I put on sunscreen before we went out.”   
  
“No you didn’t.”   
  


“Shhh,” he feels Finn sit up and lay his head on his shoulder, holding his hands and tracing lines on Sean’s palm. He smiles, he takes another picture of his feet on the sand. He can never take too many photos, don’t want to forget them all. Daniel brought him here, he’s grateful for that.

_ Is he? _

_ Is this what they wanted? _

“Are you gonna stay here?” Sean mumbles. Not to Finn but more to himself, a thought that went past his quiet lips. Because he can’t imagine waking up and feeling the kisses and the giggles that’ll turn silly, it’s the  _ only  _ thing that’s making the life in Mexico worth living. He’s stuck here, forever. He can’t go back to Daniel, but once Finn leaves there will be  _ nothing _ . There’ll be silence.

And he’ll fall apart.

“I’ll be here for the next six months,” Finn says quietly, it’s a forbidden thing between them. Show too much attention and they’ll attract more of the boss’s gang members. The beach is a neutral zone, they agreed that, “after that… I don’t know.”

The sounds of the birds, people talking and children laughing. It’s so sweet, but it’s also so  _ deafening _ , like he’s dragging his fears through a warzone.

Sean holds onto Finn’s hands, a little tight. Afraid that if he doesn’t hold on hard enough, then he’ll leave him. Just like Daniel.  _ Just like everyone else _ . He might cry here, break apart and shatter into a million pieces and the sand will just absorb it like  _ nothing ever happened _ .

Finn knows what’s happening, he keeps talking as usual (which Sean is grateful for). Finn talks about how Cassidy is going, or about his family back at North. Where his Dad blamed him for all his crimes and threw him and his brother too jail. He left, wanting to leave everything behind and escape.

_ Away _

_ He misses his  _ _ Mum  _ _ Karen so much. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ “Finn we have to go or we won’t make it in time.” _

_ “Come on sweetheart, live a little!” _

_ “I’m serious Finn we need to leave.” _

_ “Hey, how about one photo.” _

_ “Finn.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Sweetheart, it’s just one photo.” _

_ “Alright.” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Guilt and regret is filling up his lungs.

He can’t breathe, he’s drowning in the silence of the room. Finn isn’t here, left to go and get groceries. It’s better for them, he’s less known here. But he  _ wants  _ him here. He  _ needs  _ him here. But he isn’t here and he’s drowning, shaking. Trying to fit as many photos as he can into the letter, papers turn into the balls on the floor, where one that barely has any words is wet with his late tears.

He tries to write more, cram everything into the paper. But he can’t, he shaking so hard, suffocating in the guilt and regret, and all there is in the page is: 

_ I’m so sorry Daniel I never meant for this to happen _

There’s so little, yet so  _ much _ inside it. 

He gets his phone, silencing his sobs with his hands as he unlocks the phone. He sits on the ground, back against the world. Maybe he should call Daniel, it’s right there. He should, he  _ wants  _ to hear his voice just one more time. Tell him he regrets everything, that they shouldn’t have went away, that he should have been more responsible with Daniel’s powers.

But what led to the consequences is two wolf brothers torn apart, never able to get close together. It’s all his fault, as he tries to call Daniel but his hands are shaking too much, he’s there, so close. With the screen lighting up his face, his tears falling to the phone.

He’s so close.

Sean ends up throwing the phone in full fury, shattering into a million pieces as it hits the wall. For a moment, he feels relief, a sense of calm. But it all comes back to him at full force, heavy, striking him down as he drowns in his guilt. He falls to the ground, shaking.

He doesn’t hear Finn opening the door and dropping the groceries to the floor. He doesn’t hear the calls, the worried words, the hushes he whispers into his ear. All he feels is Finn hugging him on the floor as he falls apart in his arms, while Finn picks up all the pieces and slowly glue it back together. He wishes he hears the voice of Finn, his comforting words hushing him down, the soft whispers like a lullaby. 

  
  
  
  
  


_ He wakes up in the middle of the night, he sees Finn picking up after him. Cleaning up the pieces of what he destroyed, he stays silence. Then, Finn takes two photos, and a little bit of sand from the beach and puts it all into the letter. He seals it shut, then looks at Sean.  _

_ He leaves and closes the door _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Morning sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry for last night.”

“It’s okay.”

“Do you want to do anything today?”

“I just want to stay in bed, is that okay.”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“It’s just that I was just regretting and wishing that I could turn back time and--”

“Hey, no talking.”

Sean smiles. 

**Author's Note:**

> [hmu on my tumblr](https://blepbean.tumblr.com/)


End file.
